Tuesday, 30 December 2008

There are torns on every rose.

I wouldnt want any one to replace you. I treasure our relationship.
It has been wonderful. Helping one another with our studies, developing an interest in photography, managing a football team, appreciating and enjoying each other's talent and more.
I find that you are special. You can do many things that i cant. You are smart and funny. I love you of who you are.

But.. lately i cant see myself in you. I feel so little, so tiny. Im not part of you.
You dont know i am always thinking of you.. you dont know that i care about you..
What i do or say dont work on you anymore..
and you dont trust me anymore..
Each time i make a mistake, you make me feel that i should be sorry for myself that i can never learn or do things correctly..
It frightens me cause im beginning to feel that im good for nothing..
Every thing i say, anything that comes out from me.. i will know before anything happens. You will say/think its nonsense. Because i have to know the reason why you dont reply my messages. There is no urgency anymore. So i have to wait more. If i wish to go somewhere or do something special. To you its ridiculous and waste of time.
Where is me in the relationship?
Sometimes i just want to be me..

When i was fired, i realise that i can never be enough for you. What i do can never be perfect. That made it worst for me. I began to be scared of you. Its not only about football but it made me realise its everything about me. There is always something you didnt like. And you will make sure i learn but when i cant or didnt.. im looking for trouble.
What if im married to you, will you divorce me...
I never complain that i hate doing things for you..
But im scared of not doing things right..
Its a phobia to me...
Only Athi knows what happens to me when i feel useless.

I am worried about ours and your future.

You look so pale, sick and weak. You should rest. You cant have everything at one time. Trust me. You have to choose or make time for each of them.
If you want to perform well in football, i think you know what you should do.
Even for your studies, music and games....

Im not saying this because im saying you are not good for me. Why dont you take it positively.
You said before and reminded me, if i see you after my work looking so lethargic it will effect my own mood and you wouldnt want to see me when i look so tired and untidy..it wont be a happy day for us..

when i look at you i become so 'cranky'....
because i know what you are going thru now wont help you in the future..esp 2009.. its an important year for you!

Whoever reading this.. you have to take his point of view too and his feelings.
This post is just about me.

HE IS A GREAT GUY.. believe me...

Love you

Shyairah

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My HOBBY

I made this for Firul's Open house.
What do you think?
Its not complete yet.. waiting for Firul to email me photos of them :)


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Sentimental Heart Lyrics
She and Him

Cried all night 'til there was nothin' more
What use am I as a heap on the floor?
Heaving devotion but it's just no good
taking it hard just like you knew I would

O-o-old habits die hard when you got, when you got a sentimental heart
Piece of the puzzle, you're my missing part
Oh what can you do with a sentimental heart?

Cried all night 'til there was nothin' more
What use am i as a heap on the floor
Heaving devotion but it's just no good
Taking it hard just like you knew I would

O-o-old habits die hard
When you got, when you got a sentimental heart
Piece of the puzzle, I'm your missing part
Oh what can you do with a sentimental heart?
Oh what can you do with a sentimental heart?
Oh what can you do with a sentimental heart?